Time Marches On

...And I often feel like it's marching too fast for me to keep up.

I feel like the majority of what I hear about these days is about people diving into jobs and internships, getting engaged, having kids, making plans for what they're going to do after graduation, all these important life-changing things.

Me on the other hand?

I think I'm rather stunted on the whole moving forward fact of life. Here I am, almost 22 years old, graduating in 8 months, and...absolutely petrified by the idea of the future.

It's not that I'm afraid of change, I just have an overwhelming fear of the unknown. The way I see it, as much potential as there are for things to work out well and life to be this amazing ride, there's just as much chance of everything falling apart at any given moment. This terrifies me.

The fact that I'm not one of those people who has everything planned out is a double-edge sword in this regard. On one hand, I suppose it's good that I don't have a set plan, then I'm not putting limits on myself or boxing myself so strictly into some unchangeable plan. But on the other hand, not really having ANY plan just makes me feel like I'm aimlessly floundering.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not completely lacking in direction. I have ideas of what I want to do, where I want to go, what my options are...I'm just not quite sure how I mesh all of that into something that satisfies everything I'm looking for.

*sigh*

I suppose things will fall into place however they're meant to.

For now though, I guess I have eight more months of anxiety to look forward to. Yay.